Samet Island

I don’t really think Lawson did justice describing Koh Samet’s scenery. But then again I can’t imagine any Middlesbrough lad frolicking gaily in wild grass in a Wordsworth-esque way personifying nature like some kind of effeminate thespian, not ones I’ve ever met, anyway. And, actually I couldn’t be doing with all that silliness. So I will try my best to describe it with all the womanly charm I can muster, if any. Here it goes…

Samet Island had a beautiful coastline and when I awoke that first morning and saw the idyllic beach untouched by footprints just less than twenty metres from our hut I was stunned. We had gotten a pretty good deal our accommodation. It was quite basic but clean, badly decorated but with the amenities; it wasn’t exactly 5 star though. However, none of that mattered when I saw the beach.  It was serene. It’s hard not to sound like I’m reading from a Thomas Cook holiday brochure when I try and describe it, but the sand was powdery white and the sea was a bright turquoise a the craggy hillside was a fertile luscious green. I have fallen into a web of clichés…Maybe, I can redeem myself with the pictures I have added to the bottom of this post, none of which have been airbrushed or tampered with in any way.

The highlights of Samet Island, for me personally were: quad biking, the fire show, the boat trip (which included being taken to see tortoises, humongous mekong giant catfish, giant siamese carp and sharks), seeing some of the lantern lit beaches at night time and of course the scenery.

However, I would not return here. Not because it wasn’t amazingly beautiful. In fact I kept saying “This is paradise”, (I must have sounded quite repetitive actually.) But all the time I was there, I was thinking ‘And this isn’t even supposed to be the most beautiful part of Thailand!’ Don’t get me wrong, I loved it and I we both had a fantastic time but I feel we’ve seen all this small Island has to offer. Next time I’d like to explore the far South of Thailand. I think the more popular places like Phuket can be littered with tourists which may take away from their original glory. Although, I can’t get too snobby about tourists, I am after all one myself. All the same, I want to feel like I’m exploring somewhere undiscovered. This is naive, but realistically my ideal is to go places as little effected by globalisation as possible. I’d like to go somewhere without a giant neon ‘M’  for MacDonald’s on the skyline for example. It spoils the illusion and the excitement of going somewhere completely unfamiliar. I would love to see some of the fabulous UNESCO world heritage sites where the fantastic  rock formations are. Also I feel like Koh Samet was designed specifically for holidaying, it was a modified Thai experience, to fit an idealistic holiday-makers fantasy. If that was it’s goal it was successful but next time I’d like to go somewhere where I could see a truer reflection of Thai living.

Koh Samet Island, Thailand

After a long but fun journey we had arrived at our hotel anticipating a well deserved day of relaxation to begin the following morning.

Now, I won’t give you a day by day account of our holiday because that would be boring. A lot of time was spent sitting, relaxing and looking at the lovely view. Nice for us, but boring to read about. So I’m gonna’ cut straight to the good stuff.

I think the best place to start would be getting our Thai massage as the pictures seemed to have garnered the most interest on Facebook. The Thai massage, despite being performed by a man, I must admit was very very good. Previously, I’d only ever heard stories of how they consisted of being bent into strange positions and it being borderline torture. Having never been tortured I can’t really compare, but unless they have started giving pleasurable arse massages to force people into ‘talking’ I think they are very different. The massage was excellent and incredibly, how should I put this..? Thorough. Let me tell you, there were few muscles that weren’t massaged! An hour and a half massage can drag a fair bit though. But that was one ‘Thai Must’ crossed off our list complete. As they say, ‘when in Rome, do as the Romans’, ‘When in Thailand be massaged by a Thai’.

Now we were suitably relaxed we decided to take a boat trip. The trip promised to show us ‘three islands in three hours’ and that we’d ‘enjoy snorkelling along the way’. I wasn’t too fussed about snorkelling but as they say ‘when in…’ –wait, I already used that already. Anyway, we set off on our boat trip accompanied by four Russian holiday-makers, but then I played that game everyone plays when away, where you guess where someone is from by hearing them speak. I could have probably asked them where they were from but this way I can never lose. The water was pretty choppy which meant we could only visit two of the three islands promised. One had a small bamboo cafe, like the types you’d see on a Malibu or Jamaican Rum advert. We were given free platters of fruit and chilled drinks which was a wonderful bonus although Malibu would have been nicer. The other Island was a deserted blot of sand. – I must interject at this point. Excuse me reader, that’s my girlfriend interfering. Apparently she objects to my description. I don’t do the place justice. She insists it was actually a very beautiful island. I suppose it was, well as much as an island without anything on it can be less some trees and shrubbery. I guess I don’t appreciate scenery in the same way.

I must admit, what I did enjoy about the island was that the previous visitors had sketched a snowman and Santa Claus into the sand. I enjoyed the irony for Tamsyn though it took away from the deserted untouched feel of the place making us realise that there’s probably hundreds of people get taken here a week. When we looked beyond the trees we could also see empty beer cans and an abandoned BBQ too. I think it’s every travellers secret hope that when they go abroad that they are going to discover something new and untouched yet I think that’s an impossibly naive dream unfortunately.

Snorkelling was kinda fun. There were plenty of fish. The boat driver threw left-over melon near to where we (brave ones) were swimming to entice them nearer to us and dozens swarmed to nibble away at it. I originally went into the water alone as Tamsyn was too scared. She did eventually pluck up the courage to join me. This I enjoyed greatly. Immensely, in fact. She came in all geared up with the neon orange life jacket, massively oversized flippers and the huge goggles on her petite head. Once the drivers of the boat began throwing melon near to her and the fish came swarming the courage diminished. She flipped out, or rather flippered out if you enjoy awful puns. “They’re nibbling my ankles!” she squealed hurriedly swimming back to the steps of the speed boat. Turns out the rubber fastening on the flippers had been hitting against her ankles giving her that impression. Her wrinkled little face was hilarious. I of course, forever the considerate gentleman, hid my amusement – NOT! And I still chuckle picturing her face now.

Now, as previously mentioned, getting around the island by road is quite difficult due to the road being constructed out of nothing more than mud so we decided to hire quad bikes. We managed to ride pretty much the length of the island in around an hour. This was a great way to see everywhere and good fun. Tamsyn seemed a little nervous riding it so I did most of it while she sat behind me clutching onto my T-shirt. After riding around for a few hours we decided to stop for something to eat. Another issue I should mention was how poorly lit the roads were. Which isn’t a problem at all until the sun goes down but travelling after seven-thirty becomes very difficult. We ate around seven giving us just enough time to get home. Unfortunately at seven the rain pelted down in mighty big bucket loads as though you didn’t feel rain drops at all just a continues flow of water pouring from above your head. With no choice but to head back with the impending darkness. We rode back on the quad bike as quickly as possible in the great puddles of the muddy road. You can imagine what that must have been like. By the time we got back to the Hotel we were thoroughly soaked to the bone.

I am pretty sure I’ve covered the main highlights, or what I see to be the main highlights of our time on Koh Samet Island. Tamsyn  may have more to add on the suject or spot something I’ve failed to mention.